Typical reasons for breaking off the mentoring relationship for entrepreneurs to avoid.

TYPICAL REASONS FOR BREAKING OFF THE MENTORING RELATIONSHIP FOR ENTREPRENEURS TO AVOID

Broken promises/ Lack of commitment: "Keep your promises. If a mentor or an entrepreneur breaks commitments, they create trust issues.

Two factors contribute: One is honesty and the other is seriousness, the professionalism of both.

  • Meetings repeatedly postponed: is an early warning sign that the relationship is geared towards conflict. Each party must be involved in solving it and if the problem continues, it is important to alert the mentoring manager.
  • Conflict of values: the mentor may want the entrepreneur to follow standard business practices, e.g., filing taxes on time, keeping accounts up to date...and the entrepreneur may want to more flexibility.

If this happens, should be discussed so that both parties have a clear understanding of what is acceptable/not acceptable in their relationship, for example, to know which procedures have to be respected and which can be modified. 

  • Lack of feeling: one party dislikes the other; remind participants that not all pairings will be successful. If, after the first meetings, the relationship is clearly not working, the mentoring manager should be contacted as soon as possible: 
    • Help resolve the situation.
    • End the relationship and re-pair the two parties with someone new.
  • Lack of commitment to a long-term relationship: both parties need to be honest about this from the outset. If the mentor or entrepreneur cannot commit to a one-year relationship, they must be honest. and inform the mentoring manager to make a quick decision. 
  • The mentor is overzealous: may sound strange, but Some mentors feel that they have to be in constant contact with the entrepreneur, if this is not the case, they consider that they are not exercising their role correctly. The amount of dedicated time considered appropriate should be agreed from the first meeting and regularly reviewed and adjusted by both parties.
  • The mentor tries to impose ideas: This can happen when the mentor has moved from an "I'm right-You're right" attitude to one that can be described as "I'm right-You're wrong". This demonstrates a dominant position and when it happens, must be faced by the entrepreneur. In these situations, it is important to establish a constructive dialogue with the mentor, and if necessary, ask the mentoring manager for help. 
  • Uncertainty about the advice given: can occur when the mentor takes control of the meeting and offers advice that he or she believes will be heeded. If the entrepreneur says he will act on the advice given and then fails to do so, it can cause increasing tension between the two parties.

Generally, a focused debate and constructive dialogue is all that is required to get the relationship back on track. It is necessary to remember that the entrepreneur has the ultimate responsibility for his or her business and should be the one to make the final decision. 

  • It is important for entrepreneurs to be aware of their role in order to be able to deal with any conflict and keep the relationship on track. However, in certain circumstances the relationship will break down completely and when this happens, the smart thing to do is to contact the mentoring manager, accept it and move on.
  • Provide constructive feedback to your mentor.
  • There will be times when the entrepreneur will need to be more assertive and offer constructive feedback to their mentor. Key elements in providing constructive responses: 
    • Be timely with your comments: This is best done towards the end of the event, generally, at the end of the meeting or after a short period of reflection. 
    • Address the problem, not the person: stick to the situation and to what was done or said - and not to the other person's own view and perception of their personality, e.g. not to say : "your problem is that you love the sound of your own voice and you just don't listen!"
    • Use specific examples: is especially useful when the mentor is invited to respond with his or her point of view. 
    • Provide useful tips for the mentor to act on: when they propose to changes in the situationIf possible, it is advisable to say what would be useful, e.g. "If possible, I would prefer to write the agenda for the next meeting, rather than have you do it".
    • Keep calm, don't talk too much: if you want to encourage the mentor, give him/her the opportunity to express his/her point of view.
    • And, above all, not avoid the issue: Difficult problems don't vanish, they just hide beneath the surface! If a complicated situation is not resolved, it will come up again sooner or later. If in doubt, seek advice from the mentoring manager. 

Possible problems to avoid in mentoring, disadvantages of mentoring to avoid:

  • Poor initial clarity: to initiate a mentorship it is necessary to be clear about what you want to achieve by working with the mentor.

On some occasions, it may happen that not having a clear idea about the project or the goals that the entrepreneur wants to achieve can lead to initial and planning errors in the work. agreed between the two.

  • Low commitment: the entrepreneur who decides to undertake mentoring must be clear that he/she will have to commit to undertake a series of actions or works that will be beneficial to it. Under-engaging with the mentor will only lead to an unfruitful relationship.
  • People buy courses, manuals or audios, but when they finish studying the material they feel just as stuck with their projects sometimes. This happens because they still don't understand the next step to take to grow their business. Mentoring does not simply provide training; what it achieves is that the entrepreneur advances where he/she can, finding the right path, avoiding and removing blockages.

TASK

Now that you are clear about the possible reasons for the breakdown of a mentoring relationship, reflect and apply:

  •  What do you think are the most likely causes of mentoring relationship breakdown that are likely to happen to you?

You can also consult other Related TIPs.

Learn more about mentoring by downloading this free EBOOK.

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Picture of Jaime Cavero

Jaime Cavero

Presidente de la Aceleradora mentorDay. Inversor en startups e impulsor de nuevas empresas a través de Dyrecto, DreaperB1 y mentorDay.
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