Mentor self-awareness

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MENTOR SELF-AWARENESS

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Self-knowledge is the basis for the development of the other emotional intelligence competences, in order to learn in depth we need to be aware of our shortcomings or limitations, and also of our strengths, to build on them. 

Why is it so important to know yourself? 

If we don't know each other well (our values, emotions, beliefs...), we will not be able to  manage our capacities to influence our outcomes, and we will not be able to understand and work with others. If we know what motivates us, how we think, what we feel and how we react to life situations, we can correct those behaviours that lead us to failure and reinforce those that lead us to success. 

What happens is that knowing oneself is not so easy because our motives are often unconscious. We often don't know why we do what we do or how we feel. Sometimes we don't even want to know. On the pediment of the temple of Apollo at Delphi, the maxim of one of the Seven Sages of Greece, "Know thyself", could be read. Socrates adopted it subsequently, making it one of the pillars of its philosophy. We are not neutral observers, but see the world from our own position and perspective. A mentor needs to know himself/herself well in order to avoid projecting his/her own mental models onto the entrepreneur. 

"There are three things that are extremely hard, steel, diamond and knowing yourself. Benjamin Franklin 

KNOWING THE HUMAN BEING: BASIC PRINCIPLES (SOURCE: DIALOGIC MODEL) 

BASIC PRINCIPLES OF WHO THE ENTREPRENEUR/MIND IS: 

  • The dialogical model conceives of the human being as BE A PLACE OF ENCOUNTER, needy of the other, free, meaning-seeking and transcendent.
  • Mentoring is a specific form of MEETING RELATIONSHIP between mentor and entrepreneur. 
  • The mentor's EYE encompasses the entrepreneur in his or her RELATIONSHIPS AND SYSTEMS. 
  • The mentoring process UNVEIL the fullness of the mentor/entrepreneur as he or she moves through the realms of the MEANING, of the BEING and of the WAY. 

DIALOGUE VS. ENCOUNTER

The dialogic coaching model states that true dialogue is born out of true encounter. Dialogue is the way in which man relates to reality: 

  • He questions her and wonders about her. 
  • He is challenged by her. 

Dialogue constitutes us as people. The constitutive structure of man is dialogic or relational. By dialogic we do not mean a mere linguistic reference - we do not mean a linguistic reference - we mean a linguistic reference - we mean a linguistic reference. dialogue - but rather a form of considering and thinking about the reality of manSocrates used dialogue to help the disciple to attain knowledge on his own. The maieutic or Socratic method, is to use dialogue to "illuminate" knowledge, help through questions to uncover the truth within or to suspend judgement and leave the mind open to further exploration, questioning dominant paradigms.

GENERATING CONTEXT AND ENCOUNTER

From our deepest self to generate a real dialogue. 

ATTITUDES OF THE MEETING:
  •  Full presence. 
  •  Respect.
  •  Amazement. 
  •  Curiosity and research. 
  •  Trust. 
  •  Truthfulness. 
  •  Generosity. 
  •  Creative openness. 
  •  Responsibility. 
THE RESULTS OF THE MEETING:
  •  Broadening of consciousness.  
  •  Increased accountability. 
  •  Commitment to action. 
  •  Empowerment of the individual. 
  •  Existential affirmation and unification. 

BELIEFS. THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY

Beliefs are a construction. They make us a map of the territory, but they are not the territory. The reality is much more complex. We see the map. What we perceive is a function of our paradigms or mental models. The reality we call objective is nothing more than a creation of our nervous system.The paradigms are the ways in which people we see, understand and interpret the world. Modelan our events y determine our beliefs and opinions.

MIND MAPS. MENTAL MODELS TO IMPROVE THE ENTREPRENEUR'S AND MENTOR'S SELF-AWARENESS

The mental models are the images, assumptions and stories we carry in our minds about ourselves, others and the world. They operate like a glass that filters our vision and determines what we see. A mental model is a mechanism of thought by which a human being, or other animal, attempts to explain how the real world works. It is a type of internal symbol or representation of the external, hypothetical reality which plays an important role in cognition. A mental model is a a concept borrowed from psychology to bring to light a mechanism that the mind uses to explain how the real world works.

THE CONCEPT IS VERY SIMPLE:

People get an idea of how things work, we make our own film and create our own small-scale models of the objects we interact with. Plato's ideas, the notion of a mental model as a set of beliefs about how a system works is something that has a major impact on the usability of the system, since it people interact with these systems based on our beliefs about them.

HOW DO WE IDENTIFY THE MENTAL MODEL WE HAVE?

This is one of the key issues in the definition of mental models, as it is one of the key issues in the definition of mental models, We are often unaware of our GMs or the effects they have on our behaviours and relationships. If you ask a person what his or her mental map is, he or she will probably struggle to find the answer or simply not respond. Take the test to answer the question of; What is your mental model and do you try to write it down? Likely and almost certainly to be found without being able to define it clearly.

Gregory Bateson. Language creates realities. The mental world is just a map of maps, ad infinitum. 

Carl Rogers. We live with a perceptual "map" that is never reality. 

"We prefer to dismiss undeniable facts that contradict our explanation as untrue and unreal, rather than modify our explanation to the real facts".

Reality is a construction invented by the observer. The beliefs are a construction that draw us a map of the territory, but they are not the territory. We We only see the map but the reality is much more complex.

"It is not things that make us suffer but what we tell ourselves about things".

"We are what we think, everything we are arises from our thoughts, with our thoughts we create the world".

We have to know our mental maps in order not to transmit the same mistakes to our entrepreneur. Each of us has a different map, we must understand our own map and that of our entrepreneur.

THE BRAIN PLAYS TRICKS ON US

Our brain defends us to ensure our survivaland is therefore capable of complete information, even falsify it in order to defend ourselves. Therefore, it is able to hypothesise, generalise and draw conclusions with little data. In other words, intelligence. Indeed, the brain has come to be what it is because of and to help us to survive in conditions of struggle for life, not to receive a doctorate in science. Evolutionarily, we have developed a phobia of uncertainty, because the lack of data can be lethal if a danger catches us unawares.

For this reason, the brain prefers a plausible story to nothing. He is not so much concerned with truth as with practicality. Our left hemispherecalled the "interpreter", shows an amazing capacity for invention in the absence of information from the right hemisphere. Today, this seemingly specialised knowledge is almost vox populi thanks to Dr. House and other hospital TV series. Our brain has been built up with new layers that have been superimposed on the previous ones.The past, covering up, camouflaging and deactivating part of the past, but not all of it. In the central core of our brain is what we have learnt throughout history as reptiles that protects us are engraved in our instinctive behaviours.

The next limbic layer is created by us as mammals and is responsible for our emotions. Finally, the last layer is the cerebral cortex, which is the 80% and gives us the ability to think and gives us higher rates of freedom. The information that reaches us from our senses arrives before the limbic system provoking reactions and emotions andonly afterwards, is when we use the cortex to think and proceed to moderate, control or confirm. If we did not have such a fast, efficient and automatic system, the species would not have survived the dangers.

"I feel therefore I am".

HOW DOES OUR BRAIN WORK?

Our brains are at our service for the sake of ensure survival.  Evolutionarily, we have developed a phobia of uncertainty, as the lack of data can be lethal if a danger catches us unawares. Our left hemisphere shows an amazing capacity for invention in the absence of information. He prefers a plausible story, rather than nothing. 

ARE WE OBJECTIVE WHEN WE LOOK AT REALITY? 

People do not always interpret reality based on deductions that are in line with the facts and the causal relationships that relate them; on the contrary, we tend to make distorted interpretations. The problem is not the distortion that we make, but the fact that we we take our thoughts as absolute truths that lead to "tunnel vision", from which we do not see other options.

WHAT ARE COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS?

It is the brain's natural tendency to give more relevant and process one type of information over another. These biases are a very common form of mental manipulation, and they happen almost without you realising it. It is common to all people. Knowing them is a fundamental tool to develop critical thinking and to stop functioning in automatic mode. Explaining entrepreneurial behaviour. What moves the iceberg? 

KEYS TO INSIDE AND OUTSIDE PLAY

Let's look at the human being from the iceberg metaphor noting that the external part is the part that is visible to the eyes of others. This external game has to do with everything that we can observe and measure. Fundamentally, it is behaviours that determine how we are perceived. 

OUTSIDE PLAY:
  • Processes (Management).  
  • People, time... KPI's. 
  • Competences (Behaviours). 

However, the strength and movement of the iceberg lies in the great mass of ice that lies beneath the surface. This inner game is what remains hidden from the eyes of others and sometimes even alien to ourselves, as it remains in our unconscious. 

INSIDE GAME:

What are the elements that make up our internal operating system?

Inner awareness. Our iOs (INTERNAL OPERATING SYSTEM). 

  • Self-confidence. 
  • Mental models... biases. 
  • Values and beliefs. 
  • Self-awareness and EQ. 
  • Beliefs and personal identity. 

Tim Gallwey, one of the fathers of coaching, said "There is no mastery or satisfaction without attention to the inner game". Gallwey developed these ideas by paying attention to what was happening in high-performance tennis players, concluding that just as important is the technique, skill and strength with which you hit the ball and place the racket as the inner conversation going on in your brain as you play the match.  

Mastery in great players like Rafa Nadal and the factor that sets them apart from the rest.is how they are able to "reset" their internal operating system between points. This means having the mental strength to "erase from your mind everything that takes you away from the focus" and start playing each point as if it were the first one, away from any thoughts, emotions.   We have to continually ask ourselves the question; How Is it my inner game for the stage I am in?

DECRYPTING OUR OPERATING SYSTEM:
  • Our internal operating system is very powerful, is responsible for:  
  • Create your reality. 
  • Focus your attention. 
  • Influence your physical, mental and emotional state.
  • Determine your response (behaviour) and your results. 
  • Your outside game is a reflection of your inside game. 

"To know others well is intelligent; to know oneself well is wisdom". 

Albert Einstein

As mentors, we cannot fail to pay attention to our inner game and be aware that, in our entrepreneurs, it is the inner game that is at work. Thus, Behaviours are sometimes only signs of the values and beliefs that lie beneath the surface.

Self-knowledge is the basis for the development of emotional intelligence competences. If we do not know ourselves well, we will not be able to manage our capacities to influence our results, nor will we be able to understand and work with others.

Knowing oneself is not easy, as our motives are often unconscious. It is important for a mentor to know himself/herself in depth in order to avoid projecting his/her own mental models onto the entrepreneur. To know the human being, we must consider that he or she is a being of encounter, in need of the other, free, searching for meaning and transcendent.

The mentoring process unveils the fullness of the mentor/entrepreneur as he/she traverses the realms of meaning, being and journey. Beliefs are a construct that map the territory for us, but they are not the territory. Mental models are the images, assumptions and stories we carry in our minds about ourselves, others and the world.

A mental model is a mechanism of thought by which a human being tries to explain how the real world works. The brain tricks us to ensure our survival. It prefers a plausible story to nothing. People do not always interpret reality based on deductions based on the facts and the causal relationships that link them. 

The inner game is what remains hidden from the eyes of others and sometimes it is even alien to us as it remains in our unconscious. We have to continually ask ourselves the question; what is my inner game like for the stage I am in?

TASK

NOW THAT YOU KNOW THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-AWARENESS, ANALYSE YOUR BEHAVIOUR, REFLECT AND APPLY IT:

  • Do you think you know yourself well?
  • In which areas do you know yourself least well and which areas do you think you know yourself well?

CASE STUDY FOR A PRACTITIONER WISHING TO BE ACCREDITED AS A MENTOR TO DEVELOP THE COMPETENCE OF SELF-AWARENESS

Suppose we have a professional named Ana, who wants to be accredited as a mentor. Ana has been successful in her career, but feels she needs to work on her self-awareness in order to be an effective mentor.

TO HELP HER DEVELOP THIS COMPETENCE, A CASE STUDY COULD BE DESIGNED AS FOLLOWS:
  1. Introspection session: Ana should schedule an introspection session where she takes time to reflect on her life, career and personal goals. This session could be in a quiet place where she can be alone and at peace.
  2. Self-knowledge techniques: During the introspection session, Ana could use different techniques to help her get to know herself better. For example, she could write a list of her strengths and weaknesses, define her purpose in life, establish her values and principles, identify her fears and worries, and think about the situations that make her happy and those in which she feels uncomfortable.
  3. External feedback: Ana could also seek feedback from people she trusts in her personal and professional life, to learn about their perceptions of her strengths and weaknesses, as well as to gain a fuller perspective of how others see her.
  4. Target setting: Based on what she has discovered during the introspection session and the external feedback, Ana could set specific self-awareness goals, such as improving her self-confidence, reducing stress, developing interpersonal skills, etc.
  5. Action and follow-up: Ana should take steps to achieve her self-awareness goals, which could include participation in workshops, courses or therapy. It is important that Ana monitors her progress and reassesses her goals on a regular basis.

By following this case study, Ana could develop her self-awareness competence and therefore be better prepared to become an effective mentor.

QUIZ

After the question and before think of yourself.

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Jaime Cavero

Jaime Cavero

Presidente de la Aceleradora mentorDay. Inversor en startups e impulsor de nuevas empresas a través de Dyrecto, DreaperB1 y mentorDay.
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  1. Vanessa

    It is very difficult to know oneself, one is continuously searching for feedback, incorporating, processing and nurturing. It is important not to think of oneself as omnipotent. I know that I have part of the upper iceberg (internationalisation issues, entrepreneurship analysis, etc.), you never know what covers the water in the metaphorical sense and that is what you have to pay attention to and be able to evolve in order to look for ways to deepen what is under water.

  2. Paula

    This tip is very interesting but a bit dense. I usually follow Borja Vilaseca who says the same thing about self-knowledge but in a more pleasant way. I recommend it! By the way, I totally agree that the first thing to lead and mentor is to know yourself well, knowing your strengths and weaknesses makes you much wiser.

  3. Jacinto Oliva

    It is very important to know oneself, with one's limitations and goodness, in order to be in a position to help others.

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