ACTIVE LISTENING AT ALL LEVELS. EXPLORE AND LISTEN WITH EMPATHY.

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Conscious listening is necessary to sell well it is necessary to communicate good. To communicate well, the basics are listening skills. We have been taught to talk, but we have not been taught to listen. Today we are going to learn how to listen, and how this "new way of listening" will make you make a quantum leap in your sales. Will you join me?

"We have two ears and one mouth: to hear twice as much as we speak." - Epictetus, Greek philosopher, 55 A.D.

1.- Listening IS NOT remain silent while the other person is talking, and at the same time you are thinking about something else (a customer you forgot to call, a bill you forgot to pay or a personal matter such as buying milk for breakfast).

Active listening in mentoring is essential for effective communication,

"...if nature has given us two ears and only one mouth, it is to hear twice as much as we speak...".

"...To hear with patience is better charity than to give....

• Listening skills. Often, just listening, without commenting, can go a long way in helping the other to define their own problem and solve it.
• Practising active listening, "knowing how to listen".to know how to control your intuition, your experience... to speak the right things, not to "shoot" solutions too soon... this takes some practice to develop good habits.
• Good musicians know that the silence is the most difficult note to play in a score and the most important for creating rhythm. Silences are important for listening and understanding, for thinking and allowing to speak, for organising our ideas, for taking a breath and for giving rhythm to conversations.

"Man is the slave of his words and the master of his silences" - the saying goes. To some people, They do not find it easy to withstand the pressure of silence and feel obliged to interrupt it; others need to fill the whole space with the noise of their words and prevent it by speaking.

If you can't stand your own silence and feel the urge to interrupt it, we invite you not to do so. Handling silences well is synonymous with being a good communicator. Learning to be silent, to listen and to allow others to explain themselves is a fundamental skill for direct dialogues to manifest their full potential.

Active listening is a skill that can be acquired and developed with practice. 

Mastering this skill requires patience and time to develop it properly.

• The entrepreneur must always practise active listening, but especially when he or she is validating with customersand when conducting his or her mentoring sessions... the mentor must also practice it.
• Once the company has a human team, it is necessary to continue practising in order to being a good manager. Active listening is delegating wellnegotiate and present ideas and inspire your team. 
• It is the leaders who use this technique who benefit from improvising relationships with their employees and creating a much more productive and happier team.

The active listening you should apply in your training sessions mentoring consists of a series of behaviours and attitudes that prepare the receiver to listen, to concentrate on the speaker and to provide responses. (feedback).

• It also involves, among other things, making available and show interest by the speaker.
• Active listening and with full awarenessis not to hear the other person, but to be fully focused on the message that the other individual is trying to communicate..
• Active listening is a way of communicating that shows the speaker that the listener has understood him/her. 
• Refers to the ability to listen not only what the person is expressing directly, but also the feelings, ideas or thoughts that underlie what is being said.

There are some OBSTACLES that prevent us from listening effectively and we need to be aware of these in order to overcome them.

• Divided attention: Trying to do too many things at the same time puts us off balance and puts the other person in an inappropriate and uncomfortable position... (avoid having the mobile phone active, remove it...).
• Attention to ourselves: We compromise our ability to listen to the other party. Too often, we spend too much time focusing on what we think and what we say instead of actively listening to the other.
• Pretending to listen: It is not passive listening, but refers to the ability to listen not only to what the person is expressing directly, but also to the feelings, ideas or thoughts that underlie what they are trying to express.
• Downplaying the importance of what someone else says only because we have different beliefs.

Some mistakes that can occur when listening to the other person:

1. Distract yourself during the conversation.
2. Interrupt the speaker.
3. Judge him and want to impose your ideas.
4. Offering aid prematurely and with lack of information.
5. Reject and not validate what the other is feeling.
6. Disqualify in giving your opinion.
7. Telling your own story instead of listening to theirs.

Ideas to show that you are listening:

Verbal and non-verbal cues of active listening, so that you will be able to adapt your communication style towards a better understanding and comprehension of your interlocutor.

NON-VERBAL SIGNALS

Active listeners often show the following non-verbal signals:

• EYE CONTACT

Eye contact shows the other person that you are paying attention to what he or she is saying and feeling and can also show sincerity. Combining eye contact with other verbal and non-verbal cues, they show interest in what the other person is expressing.

• LIGHT SMILE

This reassures the speaker that the information he or she is conveying is being well received and motivates him or her to keep talking. It therefore acts as a reinforcer, as well as giving a message of empathy.

• RECEPTIVE BODY POSTURE

Posture gives information about the sender and receiver in the communication process. The active listener tends to lean slightly forward or sideways while sitting.

• MIRRORING

The automatic reflex or mirroring of any facial expression of the speaker may be a sign of attentive listening. These expressive gestures seem to indicate sympathy and empathy in emotional situations. In contrast, conscious imitation of (non-automatic) facial gestures seems to be a sign of inattentiveness.

• NO DISTRACTION

The active listener will not be distracted, as his or her attention is focused on the verbal and non-verbal signals emitted by the listener.

VERBAL SIGNALS

• ISSUE WORDS OF REINFORCEMENT OR COMPLIMENTS

Such verbalisations reinforce the speaker's discourse by conveying that one validates the speaker's point of view. Phrases such as "you did very well", "I like it when you are sincere" or "you must be very good at playing football" show attention on the part of the listener. Although these phrases can be positive, they should not be overused, as they can be distracting to the sender.

• PARAPHRASE

Paraphrasing refers to verifying or expressing in one's own words what the speaker seems to have just said. In this way, it is possible for the sender to inform the receiver whether the latter has understood the message correctly. An example of paraphrasing can be: "You mean you felt this way...?

• SUMMARY

A person who masters the skill of active listening usually summarises what the other person has just said. This helps to make it clear that you understand the other person's point of view before presenting your own.

• ASK QUESTIONS

The listener can show that he/she has been attentive by asking relevant questions. In this way he/she can clarify the information he/she has received and show interest in what the speaker is trying to communicate. We have talked about the art of questioning, but; What is the point of asking powerful questions if we do not apply ourselves to listening to what our interlocutor wants to say?

What has come to be known as active listening, beyond apparent or superficial listening, involves concentration and focus on what the other person is saying in order to try to understand as accurately and deeply as possible, beyond its own capacity for expression. It also implies empathy, so that it is not enough to understand what our interlocutor is saying, but it is necessary for him or her to feel listened to.

In this way, we convey to you our consideration as a person we care about, whom we take into account. When it comes to listening, Attitudes are as important as or more important than skills. If we learn to smile without first developing our empathy, our interlocutors will realise that our smile is fake. The genuine smile, as the neurophysiologist Duchenne discovered at the end of the 19th century, also involves the eyes and stems from a positive emotion. Paul Ekman (1973) demonstrated the relationship of the since then called Duchenne smile with increased activity in the left prefrontal cortex, where positive emotions such as joy reside.

If we empathise with our interlocutor, we will effortlessly get that natural smile, We will turn our bodies towards each other and look at each other with interest. Therefore, in order to listen deeply, we need to develop genuine interest in our interlocutor, openness to his or her opinions, willingness of mind to suspend judgement and to accept the reactions, perceptions and feelings of the other as legitimate.

Active listening is especially, needed when there is tension, conflict or someone is talking about something important or emotionally charged. In addition, is perceived as a gift. According to the psychological law of reciprocity, we give what we receive. If our interlocutor feels listened to, he or she will in turn tend to listen to us.

E LISTENING IN DEPTH WE WILL BE ABLE TO:

• Getting information.
• Increase clarity about problems, feelings and goals.
• Bring underlying interests and concerns to the surface.
• Building trust and rapport.
• Calm down, release tension, let emotions out.
• Exemplifying constructive communication.

OBSTACLES TO AVOID IN ACTIVE LISTENING (+).

A GUIDE TO ACTIVE LISTENING IN MENTORING. STEP BY STEP (+).

SIGNS THAT YOU ARE LISTENING (+).

REFORMULATION IN MENTORING, FOR ACTIVE LISTENING (+).

EXAMPLE OF HOW A MENTOR COULD PRACTICE ACTIVE LISTENING WITH AN ENTREPRENEUR:

• Mentor: Hello; How are you today?
• Entrepreneur: Hi, I'm fine, thank you. Just a bit stressed about my business.
• Mentor: I see. What is causing the stress?
• Entrepreneur: Well, we're having trouble getting funding for our next project and I'm worried that we won't be able to carry it out.
• Mentor: I understand. It sounds like you are concerned about funding. Can you tell me more about that particular project and why it is important to you?
• Entrepreneur: Yes, it's an important project that could completely change the direction of my business. But we need funding to make it happen and we are not having much success in finding it.
• Mentor: I understand. It sounds like this project is crucial for you and your business. What have you tried so far to get funding?
• Entrepreneur: We have talked to some investors and presented our business plan, but we haven't had much luck. I'm starting to feel a bit discouraged about it.
• Mentor: I understand how you feel. You've worked hard on this project and it's natural to feel frustrated when things don't go as expected. Is there anything specific that you found particularly difficult when presenting your business plan?
• Entrepreneur: I think we are not presenting our case effectively. Sometimes I feel that we are not explaining clearly what we are trying to do.
• Mentor: Have you considered working with someone in your team to improve the presentation of the business plan? Perhaps someone with experience in presentations or communications could help you.
• Entrepreneur: That is a good idea. I have someone in mind who could help us with that.
• Mentor: That sounds good. We could also review the business plan together and see if there is a way to improve it or present it more effectively. Would you like to do that together?
• Entrepreneur: Yes, I would love to. Thank you for offering your help.

In this example, the mentor is practising active listening by asking open and thoughtful questions and demonstrating understanding and empathy for the entrepreneur's concerns. He or she is also offering suggestions and solutions to help the entrepreneur overcome his or her obstacles.

LEARNING METHOD FOR AN ENTREPRENEUR MENTOR TO IMPROVE HIS OR HER ACTIVE LISTENING SKILLS:

1. Understand the importance of active listening: The first step to improving active listening skills is to understand their importance. Explain to the mentor why active listening is crucial for success as a mentor to entrepreneurs. You can share some case studies or examples of situations where a lack of active listening has led to misunderstandings or failures.
2. Identify obstacles: Identifying barriers to active listening is an important step. Ask the mentor to reflect on personal barriers to active listening, such as distraction or interruption. It may be helpful for the mentor to make a list of these barriers.
3. Communication skills training: Communication skills are essential for effective active listening. Provide the mentor with a range of communication techniques, such as asking open-ended questions, summarising and paraphrasing, and using appropriate body language to demonstrate interest and understanding.
4. Active listening practice: Practice is essential to improve active listening skills. Provide the mentor with opportunities to practice active listening in a safe and controlled environment, such as a role play or simulation. Provide constructive feedback after each practice session.
5. Reflection and self-assessment: After each practice session, ask the mentor to reflect on his or her active listening skills and self-evaluate. Did the mentor succeed in active listening? What obstacles did he or she encounter and how did he or she overcome them? What techniques worked best? What can he or she do to improve in the next session?
6. Reinforcement and follow-up: Reinforcement and follow-up are important to maintain the mentor's progress. Provide the mentor with regular opportunities to practice active listening in real situations with entrepreneurs and provide continuous feedback for further improvement.

With this learning method, the mentor of entrepreneurs will be able to improve his or her active listening skills and, therefore, be a better mentor for his or her entrepreneurs.

Mistakes to avoid in active listening

When it comes to active listening during mentoring, it is important to be aware of the obstacles that can arise and how to overcome them. One obstacle is divided attention, where trying to do too many things at the same time can make the other person feel uncomfortable and inadequate.

It is essential to avoid distractions, such as having an active mobile phone. Another obstacle is the focus on ourselves, which compromises our ability to listen to the other person. We must also avoid pretending to listen, filtering out what interests us and judging the person or what they say.

In addition, it is important to avoid behaviour that obstructs dialogue, such as interrupting, changing the subject, making sarcastic comments, rebutting or cutting off the conversation. There are some common mistakes that can occur when listening to the other person.

For example, being distracted during the conversation, judging the interlocutor and wanting to impose our ideas, offering help prematurely and without sufficient information, rejecting or not validating the other person's feelings, and telling our own story instead of listening to theirs. It is important to be aware of these mistakes and try to avoid them in order to be an active and effective listener during mentoring.

Obstacles that can arise when trying to actively listen during mentoring

THE FOLLOWING ARE SOME OF THEM:

• Worrying about the weather: If you are preoccupied with time or in a hurry to finish, you may not be paying enough attention to what the other person is saying. It is important to take the time to actively listen and understand their needs.
• Do not ask follow-up questions: Failure to ask follow-up questions to obtain more information may result in missing important details of the other person's situation and an incomplete understanding. It is important to ask open and clear questions to dig deeper and better understand the other person's perspective.
• Do not make eye contact: If you do not make eye contact with the other person, you may miss important information from their body language and facial expression, which can provide additional clues about their thoughts and feelings. It is important to maintain adequate eye contact to show interest and empathy.
• Letting prejudices have an influence: If you have prejudices or preconceived ideas about the other person or their situation, you may filter these ideas into your listening and lose the ability to understand their point of view. It is important to keep an open mind and avoid making judgements or jumping to conclusions.
• Excessive note-taking: If you are constantly taking notes during the conversation, you may become distracted from what the other person is saying and lose the ability to listen actively. It is important to take notes when necessary and selectively so as not to miss important details.

In a nutshell, it is important to be aware of these obstacles in order to avoid them and to be an effective active listener during mentoring.

A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO ACTIVE LISTENING IN MENTORING

The process of paying thoughtful and focused attention to what another person is saying, trying to understand their perspective and emotions. The best way to avoid blockages in active listening is to take an active stance and concentrate on empathising and understanding the interlocutor thoroughly by following the steps below.

STEPS

• First of all, attention and interest are essential. This can be done by pausing frequently to allow the other person to speak without interrupting, establishing good eye contact, orienting our posture towards the other person, using movements and gestures that show openness, nodding and using verbal reinforcers to keep the other person talking.
• Secondly, it is important to ask questions and to listen in order to understand in depth. It is a matter of capturing the other person's point of view, being alert not only to the explicit senses, but also to the implicit ones. It is advisable not to interpret, but to make an effort to understand what the other person wants to say, even if it is not clearly explained. In this sense, it is suggested to use all the techniques you have learned about the art of questioning.
• Thirdly, it is essential to summarise and check understanding. This means constructing a story out of what the interlocutor has told, including what is most important to him/her, his/her perceptions, feelings and concerns. In addition, it is necessary to check the accuracy of the summary using formulas similar to these: "Let me check if I have understood you..." or "What you mean is...".
• Fourthly, it is essential to listen and respond to emotions. To make the person feel listened to, it is necessary to pay attention not only to the facts, but also to the feelings. In this sense, it is suggested to observe non-verbal cues and identify the emotion, and to be careful when naming it, using positive labels that validate the emotion being felt.
• Finally, it is important to accept valid points. If the other person's request is fair and reasonable, listening means conceding at least in part or modifying the position. If the other party sticks to a rigid position, it is unlikely that he or she will feel listened to, no matter how many of the above steps have been followed.

In summary, this guide provides a a set of practical techniques and tips for active listening in mentoring, which can help to better understand the perspective and needs of the partner, improve communication and establish a more effective and productive relationship.